Have you ever experienced a time in your life when it was time for a little self examination? Almost like a "review" of yourself; the things you like, the things you would like to change, and the path you hope your life is on.
I suppose I could attribute mine to several things...having another baby, approaching 30, a recent work review, reading "The Shack", and a few weeks with moments to truly think. These self examinations are often times scary BUT they are so healthy for the soul.
One of the things I would like to work on is being more "real" in my blog. Not that I lie or am fake...I DO NOT like those qualities in others so trust me I would not do it to my blog friends. Being more real will just be me sharing a little more of the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, and everything that falls in between with my extremely blessed, but not perfect life :)!
As first order of business in being genuine I want you all to know that at one time I was toying with the idea of staying home after Jack was born. There have been many discussions, tons of e-mails to friends (some of you), deep prayer, and a lot of time just going back and forth.
Well, I have decided to go back to work.
Please do not think I am a bad mother. If you know me you know I love my family with all of my heart and take great pride in being a good wife and mother. However, I also know myself. I know that I thoroughly enjoy my job, changing lives, being around others who share that passion, and making a difference. I am going back to work with the peace that if I am unhappy then I can always come back home. However, if I choose to stay home and discover that it is "not for me" than I have walked away from a job that I love.
I DO NOT expect the day care to raise my children either! Web and I are both educators at heart and find it tremendously important to engage and educate our children every chance we get.
This is going to be yet another new beginning and normal for us. I have no expectations. Reading "The Shack" I have learned so much more about the God I am growing to love deeper every day. It is this new love and growing relationship that I am counting on the guide us on this path.
I love you all so much and thank you for loving me for who I am...the gal who types this blog with no make-up, spit up perfume, ratty pony tail, mis-matched pjs, and a free spirit.
6 comments:
No one thinks you are a bad mother! You are a FABULOUS mommy!!!! Now, put some more pics of those ADORABLE boys on here!!!!!! :-)
I think you are absolutely making the right decision.
Like we've talked about - it's great to be wanted and to know that you have the OPPORTUNITY to go back to a job that you love.
And you're right - you can always change your mind IF you discover that it's not for you.
The most important part is having the courage to make a decision at all, and to know that it's what's best FOR YOU.
I think that your boys are going to learn conviction, discernment, common sense, passion and courage by watching you.
Aaahh, the pressures of whether to stay at home or work is one way (in my opinion) that Satan tries to steal the joy of obeying the direction that God has placed before us....and we each have a different direction. Isaiah 30:21 is my favorite verse: Whether you go to the left or to the right, you will hear a voice saying, "this is the way, walk in it."
And by the way, you're a wonderful mother.
Megan....you are an awesome mommy. There is no doubt! And whatever you decide to do it is not without lots of prayer and thought. I think you have made the right decision. You know what is best FOR YOU. Lots of love and prayers are with you! :)
Megan thanks for sharing! I loved this post. I found it encouraging.
BTW . .as I right this I too have a messy pony tail, mismatched pajamas and spit up perfume and I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!
Much Love! Jaime
Oh, how I love you! You know, I was just thinking today at the pool wondering if you had decided yet. I was just about to send you an e-mail. I think you are making a wise choice. Having a job you love is so hard to find. If you are fulfilled, it will just spill right over to the boys. A win-win for all of you! You are one of the best moms I know. What a lucky bunch of boys you live with!
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